The 36 Questions: Lead to Love

36 Questions is based on “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” an essay Mandy Len Catron wrote for The New York Times’ Modern Love column. In it, she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”

In 36 Questions, you and your partner can answer all 36 questions together. We suggest recording the whole thing on your partner’s device as a keepsake. Beyond the 36 questions, the app also includes 13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married, Why Marriages Go Wrong (1933), The Proust Questionnaire, and more.

Once you’ve answered every question, 36 Questions reminds you to lock eyes with your partner — the last thing Catron and her friend tried in the essay. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she said. “Four really goes somewhere.”

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